Just call me Psychic . . .

Please refer to blog on June 12.

So it turns out I am correct. This child is a female. It’s a Girl! LOL I knew this so I’m less than surprised, LOL but I guess now we have the “ideal” family situation. I think if I had the funds I might have like 100 kids! No not really, but I might want more than 2. Of course, right now I’m not sure about bringing a baby into this fucked up world we live in. I want to move out of NOVA because there are a bunch of idiot assholes that live in this area, and I’d like to own property that has a yard and room to live, for the price of our apt out here!!

So I’ve made a registry! Yay me! I have a few girl things on there. I’m excited to get a few more.

He Rocks my World.

Seriously.

My son is 3. almost 3.5. He’s very intelligent. He can count to 30. He knows all the days of the week. He knows the months of the year. He knows his phonics A-Z. He can write the letters ‘A’, ‘H’, ‘O’ and ‘S’. He forms complete thoughts into sentences that make sense. He can put on his clothes, shirt, shoes, pants and underware.

Now you may be thinking I’m just bias, but, he’s really smart. He’s my pride and joy. He does such funny things, and knows so much. Keeps me on my toes. He’s gotten quite good at telling me that “that’s the way it works mommy.”

So yea. he rocks my world and thats just the way it works. .

Another 30 days …

until I figure out if this baby is male or female. i wasnt this anxious to know about Austons sex, lol but for some reason im excited to know.

My feeling is that its a girl. Maybe i want a girl secretly I dont really know!
But Kaiser got me! they have in the notes section of my record and it said Dont schedule for before July 24!! AHHH they are making me wait until 20 weeks. Those sillios.  But whatever, I’ll wait. So here *she* is:

Goals

I;m not very goal oriented. Well not before. I’m slowly trying to change things around.

I was working in a 9-5 environment. I went in when they said I had to, I only got an allotted time for lunch. I was paid what they said I was, and I worked where and with whomever they wanted me to.
THATS the Employee Mentality.

I don’t know when I got stuck in that situation. I guess from high school when I worked at the video store. I scheduled my life around that working time. And then thru college, I didnt have to work, BECAUSE I was a student. Then I graduated and now its like, I have to find a real job. And start in the real world..

I would like for my day to be scheduled around my life. I would like for my dreams of worry free life, with complete happiness, to have been fulfilled. I want to wake up in the morning and eat breakfast and fresh fruit. Look out my window, and say, today we go to the beach, or whatever.

It’s gonna happen. I have the opportunity to make that happen, and I will. I will become my own boss, and work for no one!!! YAY me, and yay everyone else who decides that too!
THATS the Business Owner Mentality.

Week 13.

I wasted an hour of my time today. No wait, make that and hour and 20 mins. I have already been thru childbirth. I haven’t had the labor and that sort of thing, but everything up until that moment, is repeat information. Nothing new in our world has come out to drastically change things, to where I need to go back and hear it all again. The Andromeda strain hasn’t come, people haven’t been dessimated by life like in the happening. SO not eating too much food, dont smoke, no alcohol. Its all in my brain, I’m good.

Not according to Kaiser. There “1st Trimester Women’s Health Class” was mandatory. So It’s great for first time moms. I fully recommend and stand by the idea of having a birth questions class for moms who are new at this. It helped me tremendously! But can we split the classes up into “first time moms” and “one or more kids moms” ?? I mean dammit.

So welcome to week 13 of being a 2nd time mom.

Doctors appointment on Thursday. We see the 2nd sonogram, and whether she can tell me or not. She’s gonna look for a penis, or a vagina. I’d like to be able to spent my not working time, on starting a registry getting some baby girl stuff, envisioning the new look of the kids shared room. Unlessss.. well read that in my other blog

For now..

“Ate least you get a paid day off”

She says as she tells me that as of 9 am May 9 2008, I’m out of a job.

FUCK that! Fuck it hard. The goddamn economy has now succeed in SUCKING. I knew it sucked before, but now it really sucks. So at 9 am I go into my bosses, scuse me, ex-bosses office and the publisher are sitting in there with 2 chairs.. empty. I already know this isn’t something that I’m ready for, but . . here it is.

“theres no easy way to do this, but due to waa waa waamp wamp wamp womp waw waw waa waa Laid Off wamp waa waa waa womp womp womp”

Yup. That was about what I heard. Laid off? Seriously? I’m getting ready to have a kid, I have one and thank god i didnt buy that house we were gonna buy 3 months ago. So i’m supposed to depend on Kevins income to support 4 people? well 3 now, 4 later.. Holy shit.

So I’m highly angered, feel betrayed and then am escorted to my office to clear my shit out. Where I am greeted by my coworkers who want to hug me and tell me how sorry they are.. Yea right, you’re the same people that never asked me to go to lunch with you, or sit with you or anything. You’re just happy its not you. Fuck you too. Out I go. but before i leave for the day, the publisher just makes my already shitty day even better:

“We need you to pack up your things right away, I know it stinks, but hey At least you get a paid day off. . . AND you’re eligible for unemployment..”

Why dont you just go wreck your brand new 2008 mercedes benz convertible with air conditioned seats into a big fat oak tree.

Drop your kid off and GET OUT.

So Natalies’ dad is apparently some weird freak of nature. I mean don’t get me wrong, you know me out of everyone is the worst at “dropping the kid and leaving out” BUT seriously, They are gonna be OK. They say bye, run to some friends, you run out the door, they forget your gone. . . simple.

So Natalies dad this morning was not only “hanging out” with the kids on the floor in the 3’s room, but after standing up,  he found himself backed up against the classroom door (HOLDING IT FREEKING SHUT) and letting THREE YEAR OLDS, tell him he’s not going anywhere. And adult man, is being controlled by 10, 3 yr olds. So as I’m standing there trying so patiently to open the fucking door and drop my child off at school, he’s “stuck”. I actually pulled the handle TWICE and the door was shut back in my face. TWICE. So im thinking:

Seriously!? open the door, I gotta get to work and get my kid in his classroom. HELLO, push them away. They are 1/2 your size. HELLO? ? Hello? Heeeeelllllllllllllloooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! MOVE IT GODDAMMIT, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!!! STOP HOLDING THE DOOR AHHHHHHHHH OMG OMG O M G !!!!

Thank goodness for my own self control not to look like some crazy lunatic mom. So As I stand out there like an asshole, gritting my teeth and saying “lets do this.. move along..” in a voice that people CAN hear,  Crazy dad gets released, But the TEACHER was like, sir we have kids who need to come in to class.. LOL @ her and at him for getting called out like an idiot. So finally we open the door, and now Natalie is very upset cos dad HUNG OUT too fuckn long. TOO LONG. Thats what you get asshole. And to top things off, silly ass dad is walking out the door passing the counter where there are numerous business cards placed haphazardly, and yells out “Oil change for 15 bucks. Yeah!”

What a douche. . .

Just too Freakin Funny

This was too damn funny to not post up. LMAO.

Change of Summer vacation plans for the BETTER.

OK, i think I can finally take a breath now and know that something good is coming up. This summer was going to be completely dreadful this year.

• Original Plan : To make a journey to the Mid west with the inLaws
• Original course of travel: DRIVING.. 16 hours in the car with my 3 yr old, my husband, and alternately . . . my inlaws. OMG. Oh and the newest additional detail, prego.
• Family members involved: all of the

Yikes. Plan abridged was to fly there. good idea we meet them in St. Louis. Less travel time as a huge crew.

too much money. Note to Airlines: WTF, W T F find a way that I can take my 3 yr old for a reasonable rate. You already charge enough for an adult, why am i paying FULL price for half a adult??

Then we thought we’d take a train. Reasonable, but we still didnt wanna spend so much.

FINAL plan: We are going to drive 2 days to Iowa. Stopping once a day. And staying at my grand fathers house.

Alone. 

Seriously, it’s an issue.

EDIT: Before you read this post, it was a dream that I had. And t next day it WAS seriously an issue. I’m not going to edit the original post, but I had it protected for a minute. I’m un-protecting it, cos I have decided that although people may affect me in ways that I obviously haven’t affected them in, Nothing has changed. Someone can go thru a terrible tragedy and still be disrespectful and un caring for those around them. So before I protected this blog so that I could with hold the privacy of the person in my dream, but now.. yea fuck it. And there are other mentions of people in here, but after reading it, it all boils down to one person . . . whom i have little respect for as of this week..

So my minds kinda messed up from all that surrounds me and the fact that I’m having another kid. I just am not excited truthfully. I WANT the child, it’s not that. I’m just scared.. So the following is my dream that I had last night.

part of the reason im so very sad is because the dream Affected me. I am still very uncertian about the baby for numerous reasons, but i do know that there have been 4 people that have been relevant to myself that have had baby issues. and im nervous

all of those things were uncontrollable occurances.
first nicole had a miscarriage, then michelle lost her baby, then laurens friend lost her 2 week old then amber lost her baby
its hard to look for the good in things when 4 out of 4 pregos have lost kids.
so anyway last night, I dreamed that I was in the office talking to Michelle. and finally I just said, “I’m so sorry that you have had to experience something like that. But i want you to know that you are the strongest person I’ve met.” And she was like Thanks and then she started talking about her experience.
and I told her, you dont have to talk about it if you dont want to. She said No its good to talk about it, its ok
and so we talked about it, and she said when she knew, she was OK with it. Well as ok as you could be with something that you cant change and the hardest part was when she had to deliver, she just lost it, and it was so sad and overwhelming but she had a stack of pictures, and she was willing to share.
I was sitting on the floor, and she had them on the shelf, she was handing me picture by picture telling me who it was, they all had Brooke in them, and one with her and the grandma. They even had a birth announcement. It just had her name weight and length on it.
And all I could do was sit there and cry and say she’s so beautiful. cos she was.
I hadn’t looked up until after I saw that picture, and when I did, Michelle was pregnant.

Then I woke up.